You have to understand that their bad reactions are about their fears, not about you.īut there are people out there who can be with you in this horrible time, and will not judge you, or argue with you, or send you to a hospital, or try to talk you out of how badly you feel. Some people will react badly to your suicidal feelings, either because they are frightened, or angry they may actually increase your pain instead of helping you, despite their intentions, by saying or doing thoughtless things. Now I want to tell you five things to think about. You can survive suicidal feelings if you do either of two things: (1) find a way to reduce your pain, or (2) find a way to increase your coping resources. It is simply an imbalance of pain versus coping resources.
Suicide is neither wrong nor right it is not a defect of character it is morally neutral. When pain exceeds pain-coping resources, suicidal feelings are the result. Individuals vary greatly in their capacity to withstand pain. The point at which the pain becomes unbearable depends on what kinds of coping resources you have. What might be bearable to someone else, may not be bearable to you. Whether or not the pain is bearable may differ from person to person. Of course you would cheer yourself up, if you could.ĭon't accept it if someone tells you, "That's not enough to be suicidal about." There are many kinds of pain that may lead to suicide. no matter how much you want to remain standing. If I start piling weights on your shoulders, you will eventually collapse if I add enough weights. It doesn't even mean that you really want to die - it only means that you have more pain than you can cope with right now. You are not a bad person, or crazy, or weak, or flawed, because you feel suicidal. So let's hang on to that, and keep going for a few more minutes.
It means that even while you want to die, at the same time some part of you still wants to live. The fact that you are still alive at this minute means you are still a little bit unsure. Being unsure about dying is okay and normal. Often people feel that, even in the deepest darkness of despair. I hope it means that you're at least a tiny bit unsure, somewhere deep inside, about whether or not you really will end your life. I'd like to ask you to stay with me for the rest of this page. Well, you're still reading, and that's very good. But I assume that if you are thinking about it, you feel pretty bad. I won't argue with you about whether you should kill yourself. While we are together here for the next five minutes, I have five simple, practical things I would like to share with you. I know that you might not be up to reading a long book, so I am going to keep this short. I have known a lot of people who have wanted to kill themselves, so I have some small idea of what you might be feeling. But since that is not possible, we will have to make do with this. If it were possible, I would prefer to be there with you at this moment, to sit with you and talk, face to face and heart to heart.
I can assume that you are here because you are troubled and considering ending your life. I only know that for the moment, you're reading it, and that is good. I don't know who you are, or why you are reading this page.
I am not a therapist or other mental health professional - only someone who knows what it is like to be in pain. I do not want to talk you out of your bad feelings. If you are feeling suicidal now, please stop long enough to read this.